operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
