I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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