my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
