Its about making memories worth repressing
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
