No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
