so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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