i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize