great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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