There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
