Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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