im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
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You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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