you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
