my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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