Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
