She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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