Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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