You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
