There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
