so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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