last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
