I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize