i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
