When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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