I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I need moral support for this bender
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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