everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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