i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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