I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
