whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
