Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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