You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
