my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
