we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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