dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I looked at my own cervix.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
