Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
