he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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