College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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