Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
