just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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