You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
