Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
