I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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