you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize