Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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