took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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