I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
