I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
