I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
