Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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