I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dignity is for republicans.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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