I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
