And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
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Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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