Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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