your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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