i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
