I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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