Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
