Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
