I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
