You don't have asthma, your pregnant
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
