11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
