she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
